Please let me just cancel service if I ask nicely

Think how nice it would be if we could ask for (insert name of any company here) to cancel our service, and have the friendly voice on the phone agree to do that, we wish each other a pleasant day, and we move on. It doesn't work that way yet.

Lawn pest/weed control: We have to keep a lawn in our front yard. It's our own fault for buying in a neighborhood with an HOA. Most of the side and back lawn is gone now (Florida-friendly fruit trees, ornamentals, flowers, etc, in its place, with no need for sprinkler). But we are required to have St Augustine grass in the front, which I am certain was an invention of Scotts fertilizer company. So for a while, we subscribed to a service (close to a year). I decided to cancel, convinced I could do as good of a job as they did, and for less money and using less chemicals. I've done it before. So I called to cancel the service. Seemed to go well. Then someone stopped by the house to see what the 'problem' was and to see how they could fix it. I told them no problem at all, I just wanted to save money, have more control (surprised? :) ...and thank you anyway for checking. Then a manager called. This time (still being polite) I stated firmly that there had been no problem, and I was not going to use their service or any service, and please do not call again, we are through, thank you. A week or two later another manager called. This time I figured (as I've sadly learned time and again) that I would have to be 'crazy customer' to get them to stop calling. So I raised my voice and told him that I would file formal complaints about their harassing techniques if they ever contact me again. It's been a month or so now with no contact.

Credit card: Being a bleeding heart liberal, I've considered using a Working Assets VISA for some time. I finally signed up, and, now that the other card was paid off and automatic payments had been switched, I called today to cancel the account. First I was transferred to someone who could better 'help' me (right). 'Jason' reminded me how much they value my business and what great features the old card has. I told Jason that I was very familiar with all the features, that the company has been great, but I'm a bleeding heart liberal and really wanted a card that would be doing a little good each time I use it, and please respect my wishes, please don't make me get nasty, please just honor my request to close the account. Jason needed to remind me (two more times) about the great features and how they really appreciate my business all of these years, and ...SO I raised my voice (I don't yell, I just raise it a little so they know that the mood is changed) and stated that he needed to do what I was asking and JUST CLOSE THE ACCOUNT!!! So then he finally did agree ...with a very different no-longer-appreciating-me tone of voice.

I understand that it's cheaper to retain a customer than to get a new one. But come on, there's got to be a better way to handle a break up.